How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize