So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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