if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
