Banned from zoo.
Again?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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