I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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