i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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