please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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