I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He felt like a one man threesome
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
