so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
4 words: hood of his car
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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