what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
