office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
