32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
