i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
