Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
