oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You were trust falling into bushes
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
