A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize