Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
