is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
A+ Viking dick
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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