In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
