in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
do herpes really smell.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
