rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
