I'm going to jail i love you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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