Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
