12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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