so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
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He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
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It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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