i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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