Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
