You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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