the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
