is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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