How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
