I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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