I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm passing your future prison.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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