Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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