The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
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i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
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okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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