Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
