my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
