I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
