i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
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But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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