This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
