we made out on top of his cat.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sorry about my life...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
