I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
