So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
