i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
