I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I am morally bankrupt
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Still dying that you shit outside
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
