8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i need some magic done to my vagina
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
