She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
