Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
