jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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