I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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