once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
