i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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