White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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