The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I cut my penus on the lid.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest