if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
