True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going