Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
