i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
