whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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