Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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