he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
