the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
