my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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