oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
