We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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