We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
