The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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