whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
