listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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