So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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